


Sexual Despairs and Family Affairs

by donttrusttheclogs



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Disaster Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Communication Failure, Crack, Fluff and Crack, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lance's family is amazing, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, im both humiliated and proud, its okay to not be ready for sex, this fic was a joke that had idea babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25127539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donttrusttheclogs/pseuds/donttrusttheclogs
Summary: Lance is panicking about boy stuff. When he panics about boy stuff right as the boy stuff is happening and instead he runs away he calls Rachel.Rachel is not the one who picks up the phone.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 136





	Sexual Despairs and Family Affairs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Doryflory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doryflory/gifts).



> This is a disaster. All of my fics have been angsty recently so I needed some fun stupid writing so here's me doing that. I'm actually proud of this fic in a completely humiliated way. So I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Dori, this was something we came up with a long long time ago and its still one of the best things I've ever written so thank you for that. I'd gift it to you but I cannot remember your ao3 to save my damn life.
> 
> Huge shoutout to bathtubjenga, without your crusade against my commas this fic wouldnt make sense

Lance had just run from Keith. Run from Keith when they were doing… being...—when they were about to fuck. Alright? They were in the throes of passion, dicks up in salute, tongues pressed against each other, fingers roaming without regard. And it wasn’t as if they hadn’t done  _ stuff _ in the 4 months they’d been dating. Lance knew Keith’s cock very intimately, and pretty much every other part of his body too. And Keith was being patient, dominating sure, because it hadn’t taken them long to realise how much Lance loved being dominated, but he was taking his time, letting Lance get used to the differences between sex with a girl, and sex with a guy.

They’d been pushing back this date. Lance had needed time to adjust and learn, and not be intimidated by his experienced boyfriend. And he was ready! He wanted sex with Keith, he wanted slick fingers followed by a slick dick, every part of him had been looking forward to tonight since they’d made this date. 

And yet, Keith had barely reached down Lance’s pants before he was yelling their safe word and bolting out the door like a complete coward.

Why was this so fucking hard? Why was fucking hard? _ No _ —Why was fucking difficult. He knew the basics, he’d watched the porn and read a very awkward google search, but he’d still frozen in the moment, at the sight of the bulge in Keith’s trousers, the feeling of his own dick straining in his jeans.

God he’d ruined his relationship. He’d promised Keith that he was ready, and then he’d gotten him worked up, and then fucking run. Oh god,  _ oh god... _ oh god, Keith was going to dump him for this. He was going to leave and go find some guy that actually put out and  _ fuck, _ Lance fucked up the best relationship he’d ever been in.

His phone was in his hand, thumb hovering over his family contacts. When Jenny broke up with him he called his brother, his brother without the wife, who knew breakups, knew girls. Would he know what to do with Keith? Keith was a guy, a big solid gorgeous knife-wielding guy. Lance couldn’t talk to his brother about Keith. It was too much. He brought the phone to his ear as Rachel’s number rang loudly in the empty corridor. 

Rachel was his gossip girl. She was the closest to him in age and had been in more relationships than their three older siblings combined. Rachel knew about sex, this sort of sex, well not  _ this _ sort of sex, but she knew about sex with guys and sex on the bottom and sex in general, and she was thankfully not afraid to talk about it. 

God, why was she taking so long to pick up? Every noise in the hallway nook Lance had curled himself up in made Lance jump. It was Keith, Keith coming to find him, to break up with him, to call him a prude and a mess that didn’t deserve his dick, and why was sex so ha— _ difficult.  _ Why did it take so much effort and equipment and  _ god _ he wanted to have sex with a guy but who the fuck was he meant to have sex with if not Keith? Oh god oh god—Lance was babbling aloud, “Fuck, I fucked up, how do I do this. Iㅡ.” He heard the click of the line connecting and Lance’s rambles turned to a frenzied shriek. 

“RACH HOW DO I FUCK A GUY?”

No wait, that wasn’t what he wanted to ask. He needed to know how to get fucked  _ by  _ a guy. “Wait, no—”   


“Rachel is still in the shower.” Lance’s stomach dropped with the rest of him as he sunk down the wall to the floor. “I’ll have her call you back,” Mrs McClain said faintly and the line went dead.

“Oh god.” Fuck fuck  _ fuck! _

He just asked at his mami. He yelled a demand for advice. Sex advice. Out of the blue yelling for sex advice. Fuck. Shit. Bitch. Fuck. Keith, god Keith was still upstairs, upstairs with his jumper. Lance left his jumper upstairs with his boyfriend who he ran out on during sex and  _ fuck  _ it was too much. The tears came without warning, without break, shuddering through him in waves.

His phone clattered to the floor as it rang, his heart pounding as he fumbled for it, taking a deep breath to quell the sobs before answering.

“Mami?” he choked out, but it wasn’t his mami who replied.

“Lance?” Rachel said her voice low and concerned, “What did you do? Mami looks like she’s seen a ghost.” 

“Oh fuck me,” Lance whined into the phone. 

“Well that’s what I was trying to do,” Keith’s voice drifted through his mind. Lance blinked up at the soft concerned expression his boyfriend was giving him.

“Rach I have to go, I’ll call you back.” 

Lance ignored her protests as he ended the call. Keith slid beside him, their knees knocking together. Lance curled in on himself trying to put even a little bit of space between himself and Keith. Save him from what he can before the inevitable.

Lance couldn’t believe he’d already fucked this up. The tears fell still.

“Oh Lance,” Keith reached up to wipe the tears, but hesitated centimetres from Lance’ skin. “Lance I’m so sorry.” 

Lance blinked, his brain trying to wrap around Keith’s apology. He opened his mouth to ask how the hell it could possibly be  _ Keith’s _ fault Lance was a coward when Keith barrelled on. 

“I pushed you, I shouldn’t have pushed you. We don’t have to have sex. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Lance, I don't want to lose you. I love you. Lance, please, I love you.”

Lance blinked again, his mouth hanging open and his heart beating for a different reason. 

Keith hung his head, but Lance caught his face between his hands and rested their foreheads together. 

“I love you too. And I want to, I really do,” Lance affirmed at Keith’s look of uncertainty. “Can we go slow though?”

“Lance, we can do whatever you want. I will love you no matter the pace., I will love you if we have sex tonight or if never have it at all. There’s no rush.”

Lance smiled, his heart full of love, full of joy. He pulled Keith closer, bringing them together. He loved this man. This kind, patient man, who he knew would wait as long as he needed. 

Lance didn't know how he got so lucky. He put this into his kiss, deepening it, pushing Keith backwards, breaking their kiss only to pull them both to their feet before diving right back in. His phone started buzzing in his pocket as they walked back to Keith’s room, Rachel’s face blinking up at him, Lance turned off his phone in response. 

Hearing Keith say he’d wait as long as Lance needed had eased the pressure that had caused Lance’s panic. And it made all the difference in the world.

* * *

Since his first proper date with Lance, Keith had met the McClains as a group only twice, the first, on his second date with Lance when they, along with the entirety of Lance’s immediate of age family, just happened to show up at the same gay bar for drinks that night. And the second, at their official meeting where Lance’s siblings had inducted him into the McClain family tradition of playing Game of Thrones Risk between dinner and dessert. Keith learned where Lance got his strategy skills from, as well as his competitiveness, as the insults got nastier the longer the game went on. 

And they liked him. Or at least Keith thought they’d liked him. Lance had assured him of the gushing that had happened post games night, the joy that everyone had when Veronica had fallen off a seven game yahtzee streak. He’d convinced Keith, the same Keith who didn’t believe anyone liked him. And yet, here he was at the family Christmas party and Lance seemed to be doing everything he could to limit the interactions between his mother and Keith.

To the point that Lance had physically pushed Keith over just so he could take the plates into the hall with Mrs McClain so Keith wouldn’t. It made Keith stress.

Had he done something wrong? Was Lance trying to avoid some sort of scene? He had to find out. Mrs McClain had told him that he was a part of their family. He wouldn’t lose that, especially without knowing what the quiznak was going on. 

Keith went to Veronica to ask if she knew, but she just shrugged. She did offer to help get him alone with Mrs McClain however. 

Keith should have been concerned at how quickly Veronica managed that, Lance being whisked away by Rachel and Keith pulled over to the grill to help Mrs McClain. 

His heart pounded. It was so important that Lance’s family like him. He couldn’t be something that came between them, and he’d never ask Lance to choose. He  _ needed _ Mrs McClain to like him. 

He went to speak, but she beat him to it as she piled sausages onto the large plate Keith had been instructed to hold. 

“So, Keith, did Lance do well?” The look on Mrs McClain was troublesome at best. She had the same shit-eating grin that Keith had seen many a time on Lance.

“I don’t... what do you mean?” He honestly had no idea what she was talking about, but the tone of her voice made him feel like he should. 

“Oh,  _ you know.”  _ She waggled her eyebrows at him, and Keith felt the flush creep up his face. Her eyes sparkled at Lance’s strangled cry from across the room, Keith turned to find him being intercepted by Marco and Veronica, all of them sharing that same grin. Lance was flushed from the bottom of his neck to the tips of his ears. 

“It’s a trap!” he squawked, drawing the attention of the entire garden, especially as Veronica and Marco were now physically holding him back.

“I don’t understand,” Keith said, his eyes darting back to Mrs McClain’s now suspiciously sweet smile. Rachel came up behind him, clicking the tongs in his ear as she reached for the plate of meat.

“She’s talking about sex with Lance of cour—,” she said in his ear, not finishing her sentence before Lance had tackled her to the ground. But the damage was done. Keith stood in a state of shock, staring blankly at Mrs McClain, Lance’s  _ mother _ , who… knew… 

Lance tugged him towards the pool, away from his family, not getting very far before it all caught up to Keith and he ripped his hand out of Lance’s grasp, blurting out a question that caused Lance’s siblings to snicker. 

“You tell your family about our sex life?” 

“It was an accident!”

“You  _ accidentally  _ told your family about our sex life.”

“I—uh—yes?” Lance rubbed the back of his neck, his whole body seeming to shrink in on itself. “It was that first time, after I ran, I called Rachel and mami picked up and...”

“Oh my fucking God.”

Mrs McClain placed a hand on Keith’s arm, chuckling softly.

“Don’t worry dear, he doesn’t tell us everything.” Keith chuckled softly at that, that is until Mrs McClain spoke again, “But I do want an answer.”

Lance started spitting words in Spanish, but Mrs McClain waved them off.

Keith felt rooted to the ground, he’d only been dating Lance for 6 months but he wanted it to be forever. This woman could be his mother in law one day and she was staring at him so intently. 

“Your son is very good Mrs McClain,” he finally choked out. He could hear Marco snickering behind him. 

"Keith no!” Lance blustered, “don’t tell them that!” Lance’s flushes rarely were that bright, the amount of blood in his face and neck was impressive. Keith raised an eyebrow, his eyes met Rachel’s behind Lance and he knew what he had to do.

“Oh I’m sorry,” he said to Lance, then he turned back to Mrs McClain. “Your son is shit in bed.” 

Three seconds later he was in the pool. His hair plastered against his face, clothes that Lance had picked out himself drenched and ruined as Lance attempted to push him under the water again. But the laughter of his mum, and siblings around him made it all worth it, especially as Keith wrapped his hands tightly around Lance’s waist, steadying them both, and rather than fighting, Lance let Keith kiss him instead. 

As the McClains whistled and cheered around them, Lance leaned in and whispered, “Challenge fucking accepted, Kogane.” 

Keith knew he’d made the right choice. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for getting through this mess, let me know what you thought in the comments or on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/donttrusttheclogs) <3


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